Book Review Humor

Thought I’d take a break from reviewing books today and share a humorous post from Ionia Martin’s amazing blog,  Gave me some great laughs.  You gotta respect the people who tell it like it is.

So, we have all read books before and wondered why they were written at all. I have written Reading-and-Drinkingsome unhappy product and book reviews before and posted them, but I really try hard to find anything good I can say to balance the equation. There have been very few books that I felt truly deserved a 1 star review, thankfully. Apparently, other customers don’t feel the same way.

That being said, in the spirit of being a reviewer, a writer and appreciating the occasional dose of book-related humor, here are some of my favorite excerpts from customer reviews.

“It’s one of those novels that I wouldn’t even want to donate to Goodwill – why would I want to inflict this awful story on anyone else?”–on a fiction novel

“Wow, I can’t believe I actually finished this book. I kind of feel like I need to go boil my brain.”

“I wanted to shout at the book, “They’re really-really-really in love and have sex a lot, WE GET IT ALREADY!!!!”

“Okay, I’ve been notified that for whatever reason, my review must be at least twenty words long, so now I am adding some superfluous gibberish. (“Superfluous.” Now there’s a word. I digress..)”

“I’d rather coat myself in honey and roll in bees than read this book again.”

“If I had a choice in reading this book again or cutting off my arm and beating myself to death with it I’d be dead and missing a limb.”

“Great I just vomited on my kindle.”

“This athor can’t even spell or use puncution.” —(This might be my favorite.)

“Such a deep negative impact! I do not recommend this book to ANYONE and I feel extremely sorry for the ones who’ve already read the book by mistake.”

“I cry for the trees that were killed to make this poor excuse for a book.”

“Buy this book for someone you hate. Then force them to read it. Smile while they are reading it. There is no better revenge.”

I have glimpsed what Hell is like. It is 24 hours a day of reading this book. I am going to become a nun.”

“Summing this review up into just a few words…You should be ashamed of yourself for publishing this!”

“I was looking for something to balance my washing machine…”

“This reminded me of the time I was trying to read this really terrible book…oh wait this was that time.”

“If you are so bored you are watching the paint dry and this book is there with you, keep watching the paint dry.”

7 thoughts on “Book Review Humor

  1. My blog is part of my platform – never thought I’d be writing one! I had no luck with my first book either, but with everything I’ve learned over the past couple of years, I know now it was nowhere ready for submission. Have worked much harder on the second one and feel much more confident about it. Thanks for the follow and good luck!


  2. I am so happy I have never received any reviews that bad, but there are times I could leave some of those for others. 🙂 So much for constructive criticism. Thanks for making me smile this morning. Now I’m off to pull all my books from Amazon. LOL! Great post!


  3. I agree – there are some books I’ve read that wouldn’t get a good review from me, but I’m a big believer in constructive criticism. These gave me a laugh the first time I read them, too!


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